I Was Furious. I Lost Control Of Myself.
Updated: Jun 29, 2021
A painful memory flashed across Alex’s mind:
Alex grabbed his schoolmate by his neck and choked him, dragged him down the classroom corridors and then rained unrelenting punches to his head. In the next moment, Alex suddenly blacked out. When he awoke, he had no recollection of what he did to his schoolmate.
“I was furious. I lost control of myself.”
The discipline master exclaimed that Alex's schoolmate could have died if Alex strangled him any harder. Alex received 5 strokes of caning as his punishment but the shrilling thought of how he almost killed his classmate still rocked his conscience.
“It was my habit to turn to drinking as a means of escape. There was once when I got so drunk that my dad had to fetch me home. This incident again showed that I was unconscious of my own state. However, the subsequent hangover sobered me to reflect on my own actions.”
Regardless, as Alex’s problems snowballed, he was referred to attend the Guidance Programme (GP) at YGOS where he was mentored on his lifestyle choices.
For Alex, that was the beginning of a long journey of discovery and recovery. In the intervention process, Alex was able to recognize his own shortcomings and was motivated to change himself. With the help of his mentor and the staff at YGOS, Alex shared that he was able to take small, gradual steps that led to big changes in his life. Examples include not giving up on his ‘O’ Levels, embracing his own identity, understanding acceptance, managing his pride and emotions, thinking rationally in and communicating with his family better.
Looking back, Alex shared that the whole journey has empowered and transformed him. The angrier and more impulsive version of Alex has faded. He has since matured to be calmer and more rational whenever he faces challenges in life.
Now, as a polytechnic student, Alex makes the effort to be more mindful and purposeful. With much better control over his life now, Alex is ready to write a new chapter of his life with supportive friends and communities that he wants to journey with.
By: Alex (name has been changed to protect youth's privacy)
18 years-old Guidance Programme (GP)
- Photo by Izzy on Unsplash