It’s Okay Not to Be Okay: Gracie Finds Her Voice to Share

For as long as she can remember, Gracie lived life keeping things to herself. She showed up where she needed to be, but internally, she was holding a lot in.

“I was very quiet,” she said. “I didn’t really share my feelings with anyone.”

That began to change the day she walked into a YGOS drop in centre.

Gracie first came across YGOS in primary school. The team visited her school for a post PSLE activity. They played kin ball together, and afterward, some of her friends decided to visit the drop in centre together.

“Oh my gosh, I remember it clear as day.”

On her first visit, Gracie had to fill in a form. One section asked about mental health and whether she related to any of the listed symptoms. She ticked one box without thinking too much about it.

Then Tabitha, Centre Manager for YGOS Ang Mo Kio, came over to her.

“Everyone affectionately calls her Tabs,” Gracie said.

“She asked if I was okay. I said yes, I’m okay. And she said, ‘If you tick this, you’re not okay.’”

Gracie cried.

“It was because for the first time in my life I felt so seen.”

That moment made such a deep impact on her. Someone had noticed and cared enough to ask and then to listen.

After that, Gracie spent the rest of her time at the drop in centre talking to Tabs, while her friends were having the time of their lives playing games with the YGOS staff. She began sharing things she had always kept inside and little by little, and it became easier and easier to open up.

“I felt more encouraged to talk instead of keeping everything inside,” she said. “I didn’t feel so alone anymore.”

Today, Gracie is 14 and enjoys a wide range of things that do not always go together. She loves reading, science, and sports. Track and field, pickleball, and badminton are some of her favourites. She simply enjoys being active and spending time with her friends.

Knowing her today, it is easy to be drawn to her cheery personality and hard to imagine a version of her that was quiet or sad. But finding a place where she felt safe enough to open up took time.

At the drop in centre, Gracie enjoys playing Red King, basketball, and going out together. She fondly recounts trips to the zoo and roller skating. At the end of the day, it is not so much about what they do, but the relationships that have become important anchors in her life.

“I’m really close to Tabs and Gwen, and I know they truly listen and care.” she said.

There was one time when she was struggling with her friendships. She was playing a card game with Gwen and a few others, and the conversation turned personal.

“I talked to her openly about my life, and even though there were others seated at the table, I felt safe enough to just share,” Gracie said.

What helped was that Gwen also shared about her own experiences. “That made it easier for me to open up,” she said. “I’m very comfortable with her.”

“I’m really glad I’m here.”

Without YGOS, Gracie thinks she would still be very closed off.

“Before YGOS, I didn’t share my feelings with anyone,” she said.

Today, she shares more and more importantly, she knows she does not have to carry everything on her own.